I met a wonderful guy the early part of last year. We clicked and started seeing more and more of each other as the weeks went on. We both wanted to forge a relationship based on friendship first which we were doing successfully - in fact, we were getting closer to each other and needless to say, I fell in love.

Soon after that, he was diagnosed HIV+. This did not at all change my feelings for him, because I looked at him as the same person - the one whom I fell in love with and could basically call the best friend I've ever had. He had a real tough time with his diagnosis at first and it hurt me tremendously to see him going through such pain.

I did the best I could to be as supportive as I could possibly be and he still thanks me every day for that--we've come to really rely on each other. The problem is he doesn't want to date me anymore because of his status because he doesn't want to hurt me down the road should the inevitable happen sooner than later.

Either way, I'm always going to be there for him as a best friend, but I want more and he knows that. What should I do? I love him so much and I just want to see him happy--whether with me as a companion or with someone else.

Please advise.

Dear Don't Take it Personally,

I feel bad that your friend thinks that an HIV diagnosis equals death. He's very lucky to have someone who loves him as much as you do and is as supportive as you are. Fortunately in this day, age and country, "the inevitable", isn't inevitable anymore.

That isn't to say that life with AIDS is a breeze. It is still a life threatening, confusing world to live in and a huge adjustment. Most of us who are diagnosed positive have to take some time to face our own mortality. Not only does he have the fear of death to wrestle with, but a host of other issues that include the possibility of infecting you.

I put a little halt on my entire life, including my love life, when I tested positive so I could sort things out. It helped me to take a good long look inward at my problems and my fears. And then I had to deal with them. In other words, a relationship may very well be the last thing on this man's mind right now.

That is not to say that time will change the outcome. What we want, and what we get, are often two very different things. Romantic love is a two way street and whatever his reason for ending things, you don't have much of a choice but to accept that and move on. Don't let this "friendship" stop you from meeting someone just as dear.

Please advise me, as I feel too embarrassed to ask my friends about this problem: I have occasional sex with a friend, always with a condom. He penetrates me and we are both negative on a recent HIV test. He has a lover with whom he regularly has unprotected sex. He penetrates his lover; his lover doesn't penetrate him. His lover says that he never has sex with anyone else (I always doubt that). My question is: can my friend contact HIV through topping without a condom? And how does the virus enter the body through penetration? Thank you for your help.

Dear He's Not,

While I am not in the habit of answering medical questions, I do know that a person can contract HIV by penetrating an infected person. If your friend has a cut or sore on his penis and his friend is bleeding then there is the possibility for infection.

In other words, your friend is at risk. What strikes me about your letter is that you are embarrassed to ask your friends. An open dialogue amongst adults about safe sex is not embarrassing but essential. For the real deal however, next time this sort of thing comes up, ask your doctor.

A month and a half ago I tested positive. Since then my life has been very difficult. I don't know how to go on with my life because HIV seems to be the most important thing. Though I am receiving psychological support I am having a hard time being happy and my sexual desire seems to have disappeared. I never thought I could be so depressed. I know that any adjustment takes time, but I cannot stop thinking about death, pain and suffering. Please I need your help.

Dear Keep Up the Good Work,

An AIDS diagnosis is no longer a death sentence but in some ways it needs to be one of the most important things in your life. That doesn't mean a life of pain and suffering, it means you should take very good care of your physical and mental health.

To begin with, let yourself feel sad. The only way to get past the fear is to acknowledge it. This is the hardest part of testing HIV positive and the reason some people spend years in denial. Give yourself some credit, you've already made a step in the right direction by looking for help. Now don't stop there.

In addition to your psychological support, seek out a support group. They can be a great way to learn mental and sexual coping mechanisms and make you feel less alone. That coupled with a little education and you will eventually feel happiness and desire again.

You put it best when you said that, "any adjustment takes time". And this is no small adjustment. So give yourself time, and some much deserved credit for addressing these issues head on after just a month and a half which I think i s very brave,.. and the sign of a real survivor.

We lost a daughter 6 years ago to AIDS and are taking care of her 3 children. One of them has full-blown AIDS. She was just 2 when we found out, and they said she wouldn't live past 3. She is now 9 years old. The doctors say she is in better health than we are.

Our little girl takes her medicine every day and we don't hide the AIDS from anyone. When we lost her mother we did not know what we know now. In June I will be taking them to the AIDS camp in Norfolk that we go to each year, for six years now. I have met a lot of nice people there and just lost one of the girls I met there who had AIDS.

People need to know that AIDS is like cancer, you don't need to be afraid to be around people that have it. They need all the support they can get. Not only that, they need a lot of understanding and friendship too. Good luck.

Dear Amazing Grace,

Thanks for taking the time to write. I was moved by your letter and so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter and sweet little friend. Yours is the kind of letter that gives a person pause. It is easy to forget in this day and age of new therapies, that there are still people dying and lives being torn apart by this dread disease.

It's such a comfort to all of us with AIDS to know that there are people like you and your family in this world. Your little girl is very lucky to have you and your husband and must be pretty special herself, not to mention the rest of your family and friends. Your love, understanding and courage in the face of adversity is nothing less than heroic and I now know of at least one couple to nominate for "Grandparents of the Year."