I'm a 36-year-old, openly positive, single gay man. Danny, it irks me when I meet negative men my age and after I disclose they say, "Oh really, I don't know too much about all that stuff". I mean for chrissakes, what rock have you been hiding under? In this day and age there really isn't any excuse for this stupidity. I mean my God….I could go on but I won't. Just wanted to vent.. Thanks.

Dear Now's your Chance,

I hear you my friend, but take a moment, and harness some of that energy, and try to teach the guy a few things. As a person with AIDS, I know your frustration. I also know the temptation to walk away from ignorance, but no one benefits from you leaving in a snit.

Why is it that me, and semi-decent people like me, (OK, so I'm assuming I'm decent) have these grand ideals about life, love, and relationships? Then, when it comes to sex, I lead this life of self-destruction by putting myself at risk for HIV, with drugs and endless one night stands.

Dear Not the Only one Confused,

You ask some unanswerable questions and others that only you can answer. It concerns me also, that you don't care if you have HIV, because what you seem to be saying is that you don't value life.

Get some professional help. Even if you are HIV positive, you are not destined to die. And if you aren't positive, then you should really make an effort to keep it that way, because take it from me, You don't want Aids.

Take it from someone who has AIDS. Take it from someone who's life has been uprooted and hurled somewhere else altogether. Take it from someone who values his life…

You don't want AIDS.

Take it from someone who has to take 24 pills a day and is constantly fighting diarrhea.

Take it from a needle-phobe, who now has to self-inject weekly. Take it from someone who has to have flat warts burned off of his face every three weeks.

You don't want AIDS.

You should care.

Take it from someone who has had to learn the hard way how really precious life is.

Sadly, I agree, our community, does very little to support the many that feel the way you do. When the crisis began, we were a community of men and women together caring for one another. Now, it seems as though we have no self- respect.

I am encouraged that you are speaking up and questioning yourself. Do get professional help and then set an example for the rest of the community by helping to change the way gay men seem to feel about themselves.

I am a thirty-three year old negative man who is involved with a twenty-three year old positive man for a year now. There are several issues involved. When we were first together everything was good (sexually) now it is horrible we haven't had sex in 4 and a half months.

He says it is due to the fact that his first lover raped him and his dealing with HIV. I am trying real hard to understand and I know that unless it has happened to you then it is hard. I have tried to get him to go to therapy groups and such, but I have no luck in that area.

I love the man in a way that I have never experienced with anyone and I do have a history of long term relationship to base this on. (seven years).

I guess what I am getting at is that we have talked and talked and talked,….well you get the point!!!!! He says that things have died in him due to his past abusive relationship and HIV....Is there really anything that I can do?

I am at the end of my rope with the whole matter, I know this will sound selfish but I have given and supported (of heart and money) and it seems that I have reached a breaking point and am about to snap and ask for him to leave.

Who would want a dead man for a Lover and Partner? I feel like I could be good for him but I have no way to reach him and make him understand all of this. Should I just let us part ways and go on with my life??? Can you give me any helpful advice?

Dear Take a Step Back ,

"Is there really anything I can do?".To begin with, as a positive person, and with all due respect, you can refrain from calling him a dead man, even if he's seems to have given up on his life.

Other than that, all you can do is love and support him in a way that is not harmful to you. I think you have answered some of your own questions just by writing, "I have no way to reach him". Things like "breaking point" and "snap", lead me to believe that some sort of action on your behalf is necessary for you both, sooner, than later.

You cannot make this man get help, I feel horrible for him and also wish he would get counseling, but when dealing with Aids, a person has to go at their own pace, and you have to want to help yourself. None of your other issues will fall into place until he has dealt with his own.

So do what is right for both of you, continue to love him, and start supporting yourself, and I realize, that may mean parting ways, you are of no help to anyone at the end of your rope.

It's really encouraging to know there are people willing to share and listen to the thoughts of those trying to persuade themselves to keep going. Let's not fool ourselves, it is a rather heavy burden we've got to bear, isn't it?

Dear Pillar of Strength,

I admire your want to live through this thing called AIDS. You are not alone, even in your fears of it. I have been positive for 8 years and relatively healthy, and, I myself, still feel dread associated with being HIV positive once and a while.

I also realize, however, that a positive attitude will lessen the frequency of these moments. Congratulations on your ability to make some wonderful changes in your life. I urge you to continue to do so, not because you think you only have 15 years, but because you seem to realize that life, is a gift in all it's many forms.

Keep up the positive point of view and keep reaching out for education and support and I'll bet your life-expectancy quadruples.