I'm trying to maintain a good attitude; but it's rough. I'm not in a relationship, although attractive. I guess I mistakenly thought that my ex and I would be together forever. I haven't had the courage to let myself love again.

Now, with HIV, I feel like I'll just spend the rest of my life alone. I'm sorry to be so down. I have to tell someone. I probably shouldn't have written, ;but I'm going to send this anyway. I just feel so all alone.

Dear New World,

You, my friend, are far from alone and you are entitled to a be a bit down after all you've been through. I'm so sorry about your losses, and your diagnosis.

The tricky part is taking the first step toward help, which is why I'm glad you wrote. My inspiration comes from just what you're going through. It comes from feeling unwanted, unattractive and misunderstood, but also from a willingness to reach out for support.

I knew I needed love and support, and with just a bit of motivation I found it. You can too. Keep reaching out, join a support group, talk to others with AIDS or HIV. In time you will come to realize that, not only aren't you alone, but you are the very same attractive person you always were.

This improved sense of self will develop into the courage you need to love again. Take a breather and give yourself some time, and promise me to never be afraid to write again.

I am the Mom of two little foster girls with HIV. It has been an emotional roller coaster to say the least, and I'm sure you can relate to that. They were both born HIV positive, and they are both wonderful girls.

I wonder, sometimes, if they will live long enough to fall in love. I hope they get that opportunity. It's so hard to lose someone. We lost a two-year old last year to a disease, and it is so difficult.

Thanks for making people aware that we can live with AIDS and HIV, not just die with it. Love to you and your family.

Dear Cindy,

When your little girls grow up and fall in love, They will have learned the "love" part from you.

Thanks.

I really can remember my every day life when my best friend was still with us here on earth. I worked while he was still sleeping, and when he awoke; I was there. I was there to help him to waste time along the day, to support him when he was feeling he was God's most disgusting creature and when he just wanted to have someone around that cared for him...

It was the most difficult time for me, but the most precious time God could give this simple mortal, cause I helped him and I learned how to be a human being in this world. God gives us some hard times just to see how we manage difficulties.

I really know what you've been through and I hope and pray that you have all the strength and all the love you deserve. I don't know you or your readers at all, but I feel that deep inside of me there is love for you and there always will be. I am part of you, and you are part of me. We are all parts of the whole. And for those who took the great trip, I simply understand that they are home, waiting for us...

Dear Paul,

Mary Fisher once said, "For human power, no set of people are as extra-ordinary as the caregivers who come, most of them unpaid, to help us manage our lives when life itself grows fragile and fearful. They are, collectively, an almost entirely invisible army of compassion." Thank you for being a part of that army and an inspiration to all of us.

I recently realized that I am so good at safe sex negotiations that I am lousy at sex. My sense of spontaneity is shot to hell. I either am so specific about what all is "safe" that the event seems walked through and scripted, or, I lie there paralyzed because I forgot to cover who is gonna come where. I have no spontaneity and I think I am scaring people away.

No, I am scaring people away. Cute ones too. How do you make safe sex spontaneous?

Dear Combustible,

There is a new photo book out by Ken Probst that takes you behind the scenes of the making of a porno flick. It's a real perspective shifter. Believe me, sex, safe or unsafe, takes a little planning.

HIV could very easily stand for Heightened Intense Vulnerability when you are feeling amorous, and it can seem at times that you are damned if you do, damned if you don't. I wish I could say I wasn't acquainted with this situation, but I've "been there" and "not done that," myself a few more times than I care to admit.

First, on some level, you have to deal with your fear of the possibility of infecting someone. You have to realize that if you act responsibly and practice safe sex the chances are slim to none. Secondly, the decision is not entirely yours.

Beyond that, it's kind of a "trial and error," "whatever works for you" thing. One suggestion is to negotiate separately from when you actually have sex. This gives you time to remember to cover what lands where, and to fantasize within boundaries.

If that is not an option, and often times it doesn't seem like one, you may have to resort to a little spoken language, a lot of body language and good aim. In any event, anyone really worth spending time with could never be scared off by your concern for their well being. Safe sex is nothing to fear. Ignorance is.

I am a 24-year-old HIV+ man. I have been positive since I was 17 years old which is seven years now. Sad to say I have not done much about it. I don't know why. So far my T-Cell counts have remained good and I have had no health problems.

It's funny, the few partners I have had since testing positive were more concerned about me, and that I do what I need to be doing to stay healthy. I guess my question to you is: how in the hell do I get over being mad about this?

How do I deal with the fear that my life as I knew it, or I guess I should say, as I pretended it to be, is not the same anymore? How can I cope with the fear of not knowing what is going to happen? I started therapy several months ago hoping to get through all of this and find some way to make this transition easier.

If you have ideas as to how to cope better with this, please send them my way. I don't want to wait another 7 years before I start to do something.

Dear Finding Yourself,

Sounds as if you already have done something. As far as I am concerned, seeking therapy is the best first step. The ability to reach out for help is half the battle.

Now just keep on stepping. Facing the fear, as any of us who have been there can tell you, is the toughest part. And in facing fear, you will inevitably be forced to deal with your anger, and all the other emotions that go along with dealing with this disease.

I am a constant advocate of support groups. Being in touch with those living the life will help you to realize how much you really have accomplished in these seven years. Yes your life is different now, but with support, the right outlook and proper professional help, it'll be a life very much worth living.