I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your writing. I too am bothered by how HIV/AIDS seemed to have been swept into a closet at the march, in the need for us to party and feel good. One of the most moving moments for me, (which brought me briefly back to DC in 1993, and San Francisco where I lived in the 1980's) was Cleve Jones' speech.

I've been positive since the early 1980's (diagnosed in 1985), and have been one of the lucky ones in having remained asymptomatic. My lover is in the same boat. Darn it, AIDS is still here! I don't know why I'm still around after so many friends have been long gone. Newsweek said HIV/AIDS is no longer a big issue to our community. Maybe so but I sure hope not.

I've found some peace going to a little Episcopal Church here in DC with a lesbian rector and gay male associate pastor. The congregation is majority straight, and no one cares.

I'm in my early fifties, was a true party animal in my youth (including IV crystal and many different bedrooms), and even though I'm HIV+ have never been happier than I am today. My lover and I met in 1990 when he was in San Francisco on a business trip, we tricked that first night, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Funny that I had to become positive before I could settle down with a lover, and get clean and sober (10 years now). We've got two great miniature schnauzers and a cranky cat, too. Our little family wishes you all the best.

Dear Ozzie and Harriet,

As Grace Adler would say, "How much do I love you guys?" Congratulations on your 10 years of sobriety, however, please don't give HIV/AIDS the credit. While AIDS is quite a "wake-up call," I'd like to think that you could be just as sober and happy without having had to endure that rude awakening. Thanks for the kind words, and for pointing out that spirituality, love and self-love can make for a happy life despite all obstacles.

I am a long-term survivor. I have been HIV+ for over 15 years and living with AIDS for 8 years now. Just this last week after using HIV meds since 1991, I am now living with a virus that is resistant to all HIV meds. A Pheno-Resistance Test confirmed the results. I have a great doctor and group of friends for support. I was in a relationship for 8 years and he died in March 1995. I have dated on and off over the years. In Feb. 2000, I ended a ten-month dating relationship. I still crave that someone special. Is it fair to search for someone special and get involved in a relationship when you look at my current health situation? Part of me says "yes" as long as I am honest up-front, part of me, says "no," that it's not fair to another person. Please give me you opinion!

Dear It's No Bother at All,

Plan your summer vacation now. Go to your local bookstore or log onto Amazon.com and pick a destination. Biography, Fiction, Classics, books make even the most expensive, exotic "getaways" available to the financially challenged. I used to feel sorry for myself because I couldn't afford to travel, now, I feel sorry for those who don't make the time to read. Happy Summer!

I live with AIDS and have for 16 years. No one knows but my doctor. I'm so afraid to tell my family. Living with this each and every day, knowing that one day I will die because of it scares me. I cry a lot when I'm alone. You are the first person that I've said this to. I feel so alone at times. I'm not looking for you to feel sorry for me, that's not why I'm writing. I just want someone that won't judge me. I don't have a lover, I don't sleep around, and I won't let anyone that close. Have you ever been like that? Not wanting anyone to get too close because they might find out. I sometimes come close to taking myself out, but I think about the fact that I don't want to go to hell. That's where you go when you take your life. How do I keep on living with this feeling the way I do? How can someone become happy with this crap?

Dear Take Heart,

I cried when I read your letter because I could have written it years ago and I can sympathize with your pain. While AIDS no longer means death, there is nothing quite like the isolation that the fears associated with it can bring on.

However if you are contemplating suicide then please take my advice and talk to your doctor about some professional help. Your situation is the reason I do this column. I can be here and be somebody's "someone that won't judge." I'm not a doctor or psychiatrist, I'm a person living with AIDS just like you.

Lots of us living with HIV understand, and even though there are so many of us that we're never really alone, it can still get lonely. I've never told this to anyone before but I cry a little every day. When I'm scared, I allow myself the relief of a good cry.

Then I take a moment to realize that while AIDS has changed me physically, it is powerless against my spirit. What I survive on is love. I've learned to live life differently. I no longer run from fear, I force myself to face it. Then I replace those feelings of fear with the love in my life. Not sex and not love from a relationship but in any form, from wherever it comes. I've been living happily on love ever since.

Here's hoping that the next time you cry, it's because there is relief in knowing that love will never leave you alone, or better yet, because love has brought you joy.

I just turned 40 and have been positive for 11 years. I made a decision to turn my life around and find its meaning and purpose. So far...so good, except in the dating department. I don't know how to start a relationship with someone who doesn't know my status.

It's easier to convince myself that everything is OK and just have safe sex and forget about it. But, when I meet a guy who might be a prospective companion and I have to disclose; it feels like I might cheat myself out of a shot at a serious relationship. My question to you is how can I go about disclosing that I am HIV positive at the beginning phases of a relationship with another man?

Dear Honest,

I wish there was a "tried and true" answer to your question but disclosure is a very personal thing and can have repercussions. Since I like to start any loving relationship off with honesty, and because I am a lousy fibber, I disclose as a part of any first meeting. I steer the conversation towards the topic and slip it in as if I were saying, "Did you see Survivor last night?" If it scares them off, well quite frankly I find them a bit ignorant and not dating material anyway. Honesty is crucial to a loving relationship, so while being truthful and then rejected may not be the easy way, for me, it's the only way.

Put on a Happy Face. Turn that frown upside down. It takes more muscles to frown than smile. You've heard the cliches and seen the tee shirts, now try it! Dedicate one day to greeting everyone with an open heartfelt smile. Cashiers, video clerks, neighbors. A smile is effortless and the payback is amusing and amazing. So, smile, and do it with your heart.