Marc Adams is the author of The Preacher’s Son (Window Books; $22.95). An autobiography, The Preacher’s Son differs from most “coming out books” with its frank and forthright account of growing up gay and fundamentalist.
In his book Adams writes about his life as the son of an strict, abusive Baptist minister, his years as a student at Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University, his struggle with his sexual orientation and his emergence from the fundamentalist closet as an out and proud gay man. A powerful indictment of religious homophobia, The Preacher’s Son is also the love story of Adams and Todd Tuttle, who met at Liberty University, separated due their parents’ homophobia and their own self-hatred, and reunited once they accepted their gay identities.
“I began writing this book ten years ago when I was a student at Liberty,” Adams remembered. “I wanted to write a book that helped other young men and women caught in the confusion of whether or not to accept their homosexuality. I wanted to let them know that it was possible to change. I wanted to share how I had managed to harness the power of God and change my sexual orientation. Now the book is complete and it bears a totally different message than when I started writing.”
“I know many people in the fundamentalist movement, young and old, who are trapped in their closets. The purpose of this book is to let people know what it’s like to grow up gay in that environment. I hope that I can provide some guidance to anyone who is considering changing their life and coming out. My life would have been so much easier if someone ahead of me had provided guidance.”
In an effort to help other young gays emerge from the fundamentalist closet, Adams created a Campaign of Awareness to fight religious schools’ “hate crimes” against gay and lesbian youth. In addition to The Preacher’s Son, Adams has produced both audio and video tapes and a pamphlet, “What about the love?”, which he plans to mail to every Christian school in the country: “I must speak for the gay and lesbian youth whose lives have been damaged, ruined and sometimes ended by religious institutions who expel them for suspected or actual homosexual activity. They have no voice and, in many cases, wind up like me, believing there is a righteous punishment for being gay. .”
“We can’t make Jerry Falwell change the rules for his school. I know him. He would burn it to the ground first. That is one reason why I have begun my campaign of awareness. We can talk about it. We can let everyone know that these hate crimes against our youth affect all of us. … I will never stop trying to find ways to let gay and lesbian youth who are trapped between acceptance and self-hatred know that they are not alone and that I have been where they are.”
I caught up with Marc and Todd at Miami’s Cosmopolitan Community Center, a stop in Adams’s Campaign of Awareness. Before a small but appreciative crowd, Adams spoke about his life, his book and his mission, answered questions, and sold autographed copies of his book.
In spite of his busy schedule, Adams took the time to talk to me. Wearing a white ribbon “to raise awareness about teenagers who commit suicide for being gay or lesbian or questioning,” Adams told me about his life, his relationships, his book, and his Campaign of Awareness.
Though it was published by a “very small press”, The Preacher’s Son was a Lambda Book Report bestseller and a Lambda Literary Award finalist. It also struck a chord with gay critics and readers alike. Adams attributes his book’s success to the fact that “so many people have come from my background, so we have a camaraderie of sorts.
“And religion does have a big effect in the gay community. And because I went to Jerry Falwell’s school and worked for him people want to find out what’s going on. They want to check out what crawled out of Liberty University and they are disappointed because I turned out pretty normal.”
Proof of the book’s success is a barrage of letters and e-mail messages that Adams continues to receive on a daily basis. “The vast majority of letters and e-mail,” says Adams, “are from people saying ‘thank you for writing the book (1) because I did not know anybody else made it OK and (2) I wish that this was around when I was coming out.'”
Among this deluge of e-mail and snail mail are “about 40 [messages] from students who used to go to Liberty. In fact one of my best friends at Liberty was living with his partner six miles from where Todd and I lived. So we were able to get together and reestablish our friendship.”
Though The Preacher’s Son describes itself to be “224 Pages Jerry Falwell Doesn’t Want You To Read”, Falwell himself has made no mention of the book. “I know he has seen it but I think he decided not to say anything.”
Adams returned to Liberty University shortly after he published The Preacher’s Son. “We found him [Falwell] at a basketball game and I wanted to talk to him and give him a book,” he remembers. “I stood there waiting for him by his truck outside the stadium. The more I stood the more I started feeling angry about him and I realized that when he came out the door I would hit him with the book. So I walked away. I did not write the book to validate my life. I wrote it to help people out of self-hatred.”
Much of The Preacher’s Son deals with Adams’s experiences at Liberty University. In spite of the school’s conformity and regimentation, Adams admits that going there was to a great degree a liberating experience for him. Falwell, after all, was considered a “liberal” by Adams’s strict fundamentalist parents. “I was very happy there. It was an act of rebellion to go there. But I was happy at that school until I started accepting myself as a gay person. Then I realized how much it was against me.” Falwell, whom Adams met several times, “genuinely believes everything he says and that is what makes him dangerous.” Adams has no illusions about converting Falwell any more than he hopes to convert his parents and sisters who he has not spoken to in years. “I did not expect them to give up their hope for eternity just because I told them I was gay. And this is what they will have to do.”
Adams’s mission is more realistically geared towards homosexually-inclined students at Liberty University and other Christian schools. These students, Adams tells me, “I would not call gay because they are so much in the closet. They consider themselves struggling with homosexuality.” Adams created his Campaign of Awareness “to tell students that being gay was OK and they can actually find hope and happiness as a gay person.”
I asked Adams if he still considers himself to be a fundamentalist Christian. “No,” he replies. “If you want to categorize me it would be Unitarian, though I am not a member. But that Church reflects the way I look at things, which is accepting of all types of people and belief systems.” Surprisingly, Adams “got more resistance from the gay Christian world for the work I am doing than from the straight Christian world. They want to tell me what is right or wrong or what to believe about God or the Bible or homosexuality. And my objective with what I am doing is getting people to think for themselves.” “People read the book and find that it parallels their lives but then when I encourage people to think for themselves they are not satisfied with the answer.” For whatever the reason, (editor’s italics) to this day Adams has not been invited to speak at a Metropolitan Community Church.
The Preacher’s Son, in spite of its title, doesn’t preach. Instead, Adams tells his life story and hopes the reader will learn something from it. It has been called “an illuminating counterpart to Mel White’s Stranger at the Gate,” though White, says Adams, “came from a conservative background. My life was more hardcore fundamentalist. His story is different in that he went on to get married and that is another issue to talk about.”
Though Adams supports anti-discrimination laws and other political measures, his own work to combat religious homophobia “is not necessarily in the political arena. Rather it is reaching out to people on a more personal level, empowering young people to accept themselves and come out because they are the future leaders of our community.”
Happily, the growth of the Internet has allowed Adams to reach out to closeted gay or “questioning” students who are deep within the fundamentalist closet.
The success of The Preacher’s Son inspired Adams and Window Books to put out two new books later this year. Due to the popularity of “These Chains”, a poem that closed The Preacher’s Son, Window plans to publish “around the end of next month a poetry book called Light. I got a lot of response to the poem and I decided to put together some old and some new poems that I wrote.”
“The next book will be out in the fall – there is no title yet but it will pick up where The Preacher’s Son left off. It won’t be an autobiography but will talk about the growth of my relationship with Todd.”
Though a success story by any standard, Adams does not intend his relationship with Tuttle to be a model for other male couples. “Our relationship is a monogamous relationship but I know it does not work for everybody. One thing we will do with our next book will be seminars and workshops on relationships. And it will not be to judge people. It will be to accept them for what they are.”
Adams and Tuttle are touring the South and Southwest for much of this year, pushing The Preacher’s Son and the Campaign of Awareness. They will be back in Miami in March for a Miami PFLAG meeting and a meeting of Project YES. Meanwhile, those who want to buy Adams’s books, audio and video tapes can contact Window Books at 1011 Boren Avenue, # 199, Seattle, WA 98104. The telephone number is 1-206-215-4536 and the e-mail address is WndowBooks@aol.com.
By Jesse Monteagudo
