Photo: Wikimedia Commons
It’s apparently been wishful thinking that thought our culture was moving beyond the straight role that was necessary to keep patriarchy going in the U.S. When I wrote Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to be Human over twenty years ago, I remember I had hope then that my analysis would be outdated by now.
But, on the contrary, as an academic friend who studies masculinity told me recently, that analysis is even more relevant today with the political victories of the old straight-acting masculinity in politics, the renewed down-grading of all things feminine, the media obsession with something they tout as click-bait: the “crisis of masculinity” in boys, and the reactionary and militant embrace by the religious right-wing of a warrior culture that ignores the Jesus of the Gospels.
For a while it was labelled “toxic masculinity” as if it were one version of the masculine gender role that dominated patriarchy, but that label was beaten down by those defending this masculinity itself, a masculinity that’s central to the straight role conditioned into boys and girls. So what is it today that’s the same old “scared straight” that we are now seeing proudly performed and rewarded by the US President, the Secretary of Defense and the rest of his regime, the president’s brown shirts in ICE, their sycophants, and those who were captivated enough to vote for these paragons of straightness.
This straight role is not inherent in heterosexuality or absent from homosexuality. Sexual orientations, we understand, are, as best we can know and as researchers point out, inborn, genetic, God-given, or at least established way before one realizes to whom they are attracted.
“Straight,” in contrast, is a role that is learned through the systemic teachings of our dominant cultural institutions. And that role is installed in everyone like software in a computer through fear, that is the fear of the consequences of what can happen to you from early childhood if you don’t live up to being straight-acting, straight-thinking, and straight-looking enough no matter what your sexual orientation or gender identity.
The straight role for men is meant to take America’s little boys and turn them into warriors. It defines teamwork as a group of men getting together to beat, defeat, or kill other men.
It means that the ideal male body is hard, morbidly-muscled, and robotic. It means that men should ignore their hurts, pain, and injuries – “No pain, no gain.” (“Did you see that touchdown? And he did it with two broken legs and a concussion. What a man!”)
It means that men should never express feelings of hurt, fear, and confusion but that their masculinity will never be questioned if they express instead anger, violence, and destruction. It means real men never really apologize or admit mistakes, for that is a clear sign of weakness.
It means that men don’t merely defeat those who threaten their masculine dominance but must punish and destroy them. It means that rape is a “boys will be boys” way of showing dominance over women and other men. It means that one should be admired for getting ahead by stepping on others.
It means that they should be homophobic – fearing closeness with other men. It means they should never do anything “gay.” And it means ultimately that out gay and transgender men are threats to their own straightness.
It prepares them for the rewards they will receive if they are willing to go off to kill other men in war. You can get a medal for killing another man while you can still get killed for loving one. No wonder they want to get rid of LGBTQ+ rights that contradict “straightness” including marriage.
And the straight role will ultimately kill them – they’ll die earlier, and they’ll spend a lifetime without the emotional experiences all human beings need, the intimacies they need, and the freedom from this tightly buckled straitjacket, but with the constant and inexpressible fear that their lack of living the straight masculine ideal might show – especially to other men whom they fear will take advantage of them for it.
The straight role for women begins in patriarchy as a response to this male conditioning. In short, women are supposed to become warrior-support personnel. And they should feel incomplete unless they have a man “to love and protect” them, as if real women can’t love and protect themselves.
Women who refuse the straight role will be accused of being “man-haters,” lesbians, and “feminazis.” The oppression of LGBTQ+ people is still, after all, the major means of enforcing the roles. And this Supreme Court has no problem reenforcing that.
All of this we are seeing in so many ways from the loudest, and now powerful voices in the country. All of this we can expect our corporate media to justify because the straight role still sells so many products and services. All of this we are feeling when we wonder how, from the president down to his militia and supporters who even claim to be believers in some religion, anyone can be so cruel.
The straight role doesn’t recognize even those who live it and those around them as full humans but sees them through the lenses of that straight role. And, as pointed out those years ago, it is as ingrained as ever.
As so much we are witnessing, this is not because people exist who don’t openly live that straight role – LGBTQ+ people and some heterosexual allies. But, as in any oppression, the victims are usually the ones who get blamed even when the powerful benefit from their victimhood.
The straight role knows those who challenge the roles are around but accepts them superficially if they look, act, and think “straight” enough. It certainly doesn’t want them “proud” that they challenge the role by which the current political regime defines itself.
So, whatever response we choose, we are still confronting that straight role and one of the hardest, most deep-seated, and oldest challenges we ever will face – being “scared straight.” But this is learned behavior and what’s learned can be unlearned.
And to burst out of its straitjacket will mean a new kind of freedom for all of us.
*The Minor Details*
Robert N. Minor, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus of Religious Studies at the University of Kansas, is author of When Religion Is an Addiction; Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human and other works. Contact him at www.FairnessProject.org
